At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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