woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
