I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
