i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
