I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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