girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
