You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
