So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
