idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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