Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
