If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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