I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
