i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
