I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am midnight drunk by noon
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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