So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
