i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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