one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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