she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
