Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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