flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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