You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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