you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
