Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
