I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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