so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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