never play flip cup with pint glasses
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
