I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
