I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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