So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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