we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
