THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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