I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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