it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
