So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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