1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
