so that wasnt chicken after all
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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