Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you never un-have a 4some
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
