She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
