i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
