At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
