and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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