The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
