If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
