Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
