i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
