Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
