I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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