____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
