It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Are my feet made of real feet?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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