these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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