Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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