Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
