I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize