i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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