no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize