she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
