Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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