No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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