you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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