My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize