oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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