He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
