mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
