I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize