I should be sponsored by Trojan
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it was like having sex with a tree stump
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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