It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
