i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
